Displacement Activity and Jam Tomorrow.

I really should be working. Even though I don't really feel that I've anything to say I'd rather be doing this. Hmm.. nothing to say. Nothing informative, nothing witty, nothing helpful, nothing interesting, nothing remarkable, nothing insightful, nothing helpful, nothing supportive, nothing creative, nothing wise, nothing comforting, nothing. That said, here I go anyway.

The setback earlier in the week has left an empty hole where my enthusiasm used to be. But fuck me, if you could eat jam tomorrow I'd be a fat bastard. It's all jam tomorrow. Someone said to me yesterday that I seem to be running around at a million miles per hour, with "projects" left right and centre, but don't seem to make any time for myself. "What do you do for fun?" I was asked. What indeed? I sat there like like a guppy - mouth opening and closing and nothing coming out. The question still stumps me. Not a happy thought. Things that I might call fun just seem to be things that allow me to switch my brain off for a time - either by immersion or oblivion. So that's the challenge. Have fun. Sounds easy huh? We'll see. I guess that having fun means crawling out of my shell again - I've distanced myself from friends lately, and without explaining to them exactly why it's hard not to make that seem like a cold rejection on my part. One of the troubles is that a lot of my friends are scattered to the four winds, and an occasional email doesn't really replace the craic that we used to have, and I'm touchy enough that a lack of response to an email gets me either paranoid that my mail isn't working, or puts me in a "fuck you then" mood. Meh.


On other fronts, had to deal with distraught little people yesterday - two of the fish have gone to that place where fish are eternally blessed. Caramel the goldfish - gone. And the Mighty Quins (White Cloud Minnows) are now the Fantastic Four. God knows why they died. For once, t'interweb doesn't seem to be much help - I think that I did all the right things. Who knows?